No Easy Fixes
Turns out, life is happening right now.
No matter where you are. Life is life. It is easy to wish we were somewhere else, doing something else, or even with someone else. Even when everything in life looks pretty damn good, it’s so easy to fall into that mental trap of longing for things you don’t have, and overlooking or not appreciating what you do have.
As odd as it may sound, I’m battling that myself. On some surface level, it is nice to hear regularly from people how jealous they are of me and my current travels through South America. But the truth is, travel is a microcosm of regular life, with the heat turned up a bit. All the regular ingredients are there. I exist in time and space. I have 24 hours in a day, and I’m not always out on some amazing hike. Sometimes I am just hanging out solo in a hostel watching Netflix. And even though the scenery is regularly changing, and I’m often in beautiful places, I still find myself battling boredom, loneliness, and find myself longing for what others have: Community, intimacy, a sense of belonging, reliable Internet.
It’s so easy to forget to appreciate life in whatever form it currently takes. Even people who seem to be in envious positions are battling something, going through some hardship, or are wishing life was different. What’s difficult is being present, allowing yourself to feel bored, lonely, inadequate, overwhelmed, whatever it might be, and still be able to be thankful.
I plan on traveling for another few months, a time in my life I am very excited about. And yet despite my often exciting surroundings, I feel all the emotions I felt when I had a steady job in the States. Travel is not an escape. One of the things travel does, however, is create an environment to feel the everyday things to a more extreme level. Much of travel is very exciting and enjoyable, but it isn’t a fix.
Something I’m telling myself currently: If I think I need to “fix” something in my life, I should not look at the external first, but rather the internal.